Posts Tagged ‘Gender’

Was “living like a boy,” difficult because I didn’t fit the unfair expectations put on men to conform to a social norm? Yes.
Was that the fault of women and/or feminism? LOLNO

Lemme explain.


I’m not an expert in gender studies, and I’m about to expound on the “difficulties” of living like a man in a man’s world. I understand that the world is hugely and disproportionately slanted towards male privilege. I understand that. I can only speak from my experience and even though that experience has never been that of identifying as male, it still comes from the experience of other people seeing me as such. So, although I still am the recipient of male privilege, the lens through which the world has largely seen me is that of a man who doesn’t quite fit.

(It is also worth noting that other female-identified trans people are almost never the recipients of male privilege. I only came out relatively recently and just started hormones this year, and I never really changed the way I dress that much. So in all likelihood, you wouldn’t be able to tell I was female identified just by looking at me. Hopefully that is subject to some change, but I digress.)


I have always found more comfort and encouragement in the company of other women throughout my journey. Yes, even though, as I mentioned before, I have never identified as a man I do understand what it means to live in the world as one. Yes, I understand that men who are soft, submissive, effeminate, etc are hurt, ostracized, taken advantage of, and less likely to seek help. But guess what? It’s still, by and large, men who are responsible for that. It’s still the patriarchy that enforces these roles. 

I see a lot of arguments where people get upset and shout, “But men have it hard, too! Their test scores are lower, they have a higher suicide rate, etc etc. be a humanist, not a feminist!”

But look, feminists ARE humanists, OK? You think feminists came up with the idea of the macho bullshit man-child? The impossibly suave, whisky swilling, Mad Man in charge? Prince Charming? All these impossible roles and stereotypes are almost without exception invented by MEN. The patriarchy doesn’t only try to tell women what they want and what they should be, it also goes after men. It’s bullshit both ways.

So, guys, instead of getting uppity and b’awwwing at women about how hard it is for you to fill all these roles, how about you direct it towards where it’s actually coming from.

Don’t let men tell you what to do. 


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